Monday musing: Variations on a (post-abortion) theme

Post-abortion ministry occupies a large space in the pro-life community, partly because so many women who've had abortions find validation in it. Here's a community that agrees with them that abortion is bad and should be stopped. Here's a community that understands why it hurts and has given them voice. It makes them feel at home, while the pro-choice movement denies them a place.

Everyone in the pro-life movement knows abortion does something irreparable to the unborn baby. For that reason, we also know it's something a person can come to look back on with deep regret. Yet, it's also something from which a person can recover. On that basis, most pro-life ministries reach out to post-abortive people with open arms, offering support groups to women as well as men. 

Not all methods for dealing with past abortions are created equal, however. If the question is, "What should a person do with the pain or guilt of abortion?" we can understand there'd be quite a wide divergence of answers because there are various assumptions or beliefs concerning sin and redemption.

Some in the pro-life movement deny the reality of guilt and a God who demands an accounting for actions. They deal with post-abortion pain solely on the basis of psychology. Because the psychological risks and complications of abortion have been well documented, it's helpful for therapists to inquire about a woman's abortion history and watch for adverse reactions. It helps if counselors affirm the difficulties associated with abortion, but this may not go far enough.

Other approaches deal with the problem spiritually, but tend to "specialize" abortion by emphasizing it over other sins. To be sure, abortion is special in the way it often compounds sins -- from sexual immorality to secrecy and the taking of an innocent human life. Post-abortion "syndrome" or "trauma" also manifests itself in an array of powerful emotions -- anger, grief, despair -- that may not be involved in the aftermath of other sins. Nevertheless, pastors and other Christian counselors should be able to talk about forgiveness from abortion in much the same way as they would deal with someone over any sin.

Several post-abortion books suffer from sloppy, or non-existent, editing. Post-abortion suffering ought not to be so special that books or Bible studies about it are exempt from theological review. Indeed, because abortion is such a pervasive problem -- with something like 43% of US women having an abortion in their lifetime -- it deserves serious attention from pastors and theologians.

Sloppy theology yields these extra-biblical recommendations:

• Visualizing the aborted baby alive in heaven, in the arms of a loving Jesus.
• Asking God to reveal the aborted baby's name so that forgiveness can be sought and obtained from the baby. 
• Forgiving oneself when bad feelings persist.

Nowhere in Scripture do we find a basis for these practices. On the contrary, Christ died to pay the penalty for our sin. If God's word says Christ's work on the cross is the basis for justification, then we must accept it as fact, no matter what it is we've done. Faith like this honors God. Our feelings will follow.

As we've evaluated various methods of post-abortion ministry that claim to be based on the Bible, we've found other things to watch out for:

• Making the cross of Jesus more about our pain, particularly the pain of abortion, than about satisfying the holiness of God. Christ died for the pain that our sin caused God. The best post-abortion books and Bible studies will put God's holiness first.
• Failing to use biblical terms -- exchanging a weighty concept such as "being reconciled to God" with "healing." Sin is not a sickness and "health" is not an adequate substitution for "justification." 
• Similarly, many programs urge people to "embrace God's love" rather than "believing" Christ or "receiving" His forgiveness.
• Speaking of forgiveness apart from salvation in Christ, as though that were possible.

Here are some resources that are God-centered and deliberately careful in their explanations of sin and redemption:

• Living in His Forgiveness, by Sandy Day (Caleb Ministries)
• Forgiven and Set Free, by Linda Cochrane
• Binding Up the Brokenhearted, from Healing Hearts 
• Healing a Father's Heart (for men), by Linda Cochrane and Kathy Jones
• Reconciled, an online course for men

Some post-abortion ministries prefer to draw women in who aren't ready for talk of God or participation in a Bible study. Surrendering the Secret, by Pat Layton (Lifeway) starts out focusing on women's pain in abortion but is faithful in its closing message about God's holiness and her need of forgiveness for sin.

Other reliable resources:

• Safehaven Ministries

• When The Pain Won’t Go Away: Dealing With The Aftereffects Of Abortion, downloadable booklet from RBC Ministries

Monday musing: What's wrong with "choice"?

A lot has been written lately about abortion advocates dropping the "pro-choice" label.

• Planned Parenthood Steers Clear of ‘Choice’ and ‘Life’
• The End of Pro-Choice: Will 'No Labels' Really Help the Abortion Debate?
• Abortion proponents now totally confused about what to call themselves
• When Our Labels Fail: The End of 'Pro-Choice
• “Pro-Choice” Passé? Much more than that behind PPFA’s shift in language
• Embracing cognitive dissonance?
• Pro-Choice: What Does It Mean?

While I can understand why they don't want to be "pro-abortion," I'm not all that clear on why they're suddenly anti-"choice." It seems they regret not nabbing "pro-life" before we did. Of course, I think "pro-death" seems more appropriate, but I was willing to give them "choice."

This very public shrugging-off of a label (which they, ironically, chose) is like a gawky teenager who can't quite find comfortable clothes. Why are our opponents having such a hard time?

I think it's because they've always been unwilling to come to terms with the consequences of choice. They have habitually wanted to have their cake without calories.

Some do admit abortion ends life, but instead of taking that to heart and saying, "You know what, that choice isn't worth it" or "This is a bad choice," they persist in upholding the freedom to choose abortion at all costs. In the language of Proverbs, that would be the definition of foolishness.

Religious abortion advocates argue from the free will angle. God made us with a mind and a will, they reason, therefore we have the right to choose.

Well, yes, but from Eden on we've seen where that's taken us. As Isaiah 53:6 shows, we have all exercised freedom of choice and to that God has attached His own label: "iniquity."

The end of choice

So what's the point of abandoning "pro-choice"? Is it an admission that the exercise of choice isn't an end in itself? I don't think they're there yet, but maybe it's an opening. If only they could bring themselves to make a good confession, starting with the words of Jeremiah 8:6 -- "What have I done?" If only they wouldn't continue headlong on a reckless path.

Choices have consequences. They either make God smile or frown. That's Theology 101.

Abortion rights advocates often say, "Although I'd never have one, I'll fight for your right to abortion." But why never have one if abortion is morally neutral? Why are they so like the Fonz, never able to admit, "It's w-w-w-wr-wrong"?

They emphasize the agony of the process of choosing abortion over any physical agony the aborted child might experience. It's as though the pain of the abortion decision will validate its choice, mitigate any "wrongness," and temper any future pangs of remorse the woman might feel.

Abortion advocates say, "Abortion may not be a good choice, but it's less bad than others," (i.e., living in poverty due to having this child, being unable to cope with a disabled child, having less to give my children already born, etc.). Such excuses may help justify abortion to themselves, but can they do so successfully with God? Have they consulted Him or sought His help avoiding abortion? Have they actually found Him wanting, or just assumed He doesn't care and can't help?

When a woman is pregnant, she has three options: give birth and parent, give birth and release the child for adoption, or have the child aborted. Each choice has permanent consequences. No responsible pro-life person would ever say carrying a child and giving birth is without pain and hardship, or that parenting is always joyful. Adoption is its own kind of hard. But abortion is a whole other thing altogether.

Abortion means a child is dead. A unique human life is gone from us into eternity. In more ways than one, abortion is the end of choice.

In an NPR interview Friday, an author identified her book's main character as a "bad choicer." She goes on to describe him:

I don't think he's an irredeemable bad person. I think he's a bad, bad choicer. Part of what's wonderful about writing, and reading too, is you can see yourself on the same continuum, you know, to wonder, 'What would I do, if I were more desperate than I am? Or am I three or four mistakes away from doing something like this, something unimaginable to me right now?' 

Some choices are bad; some people choose badly. Abortion is, or ought to be, in the category of "unimaginable choices."

Many women today look back on their abortions with deep regret. Yet, like the character in the book, they are not irredeemably bad. Having examined abortion and the thought-process that led them to it, they've repented before God and accepted His forgiveness in Christ. They now warn others away from the brink.

The consequences of our choice

What about the consequences of being pro-life? Have each of us reckoned with how it obligates us to help pregnant women? Do we expect them to make hard choices without our lending a hand or an ear? Are we trusting God with them for help avoiding temptation? Are we living by the faith we say we have?

Related: A Christian appeals to his pro-choice neighbor

Post-Abortion Trauma in Men Still Overlooked

Post-Abortion Trauma in Men Still Overlooked: [More than thirty] years have passed since the legalization of abortion in the United States. In those years, numerous studies have documented the potential negative effects of abortion on women. The effects of abortion on men however have been largely ignored by both the scientific community and American society.

Related:
A Father's Worst Nightmare - page 4
Forgotten Fathers and Their Unforgettable Children

Impact of Abortion on Men

Men Can Be Victims of Coercion, Too
That day ripped my gut out: A man's story

For men: Healing resources, information and articles

Editor: Not all post-abortion resources are created equal. Look for ministries with a distinctly evangelistic bent, as opposed to psychological or mystical. The resources I recommend are Living in His Forgiveness and Healing a Father's Heart.

'via Blog this'

If you can get to Madrid for World Youth Day, you get freebie forgiveness for your abortion.

If you can get to Madrid for World Youth Day, you get freebie forgiveness for your abortion. Editor: Apparently the Vatican is promising exemption from excommunication for women who've had abortions on the basis of their attendance at this conference. I apologize for a reference to a rather crude article, but it points up the need for dealing with abortion on the basis of Christ's work on the cross. The best tool I know for that purpose is Sandra Day's book, Living in His Forgiveness.

Men Also Impacted by Coercion

Men Impacted by Coercion, Too: One Man’s Story | Church Awareness Project: "My role in two abortions has been long-lasting. I can tell you that the mental and emotional effects on a man are real and devastating. I really don’t let anyone get close to me because I don’t want to let them down. I’ve had a divorce, no current relationship with my two living sons, countless unfinished projects, and several jobs left before true success–mainly because I never felt I deserved it.

"Where am I today? After hearing a woman’s personal story in our church of how abortion affected her, I felt like a hammer hit me between the eyes. I knew then it was time to start dealing with my past. Jesus Christ has forgiven my past and continues to strengthen me."

One Teen’s Story of Coerced Abortion

One Teen’s Story of Coerced Abortion | Church Awareness Project: As a Christian, I know God was with me all the way, wanting to give me His strength to help me make it through my pregnancy. I was just too scared to reach out for His hand. I still should have gotten better professional help from those agencies. At the age of eighteen, the law says one is an adult. But emotionally, many eighteen-year-olds are not strong enough on the inside to stand up for what they really want.

Flipping the fear about preaching on abortion

Flipping the fear about preaching on abortion | LifeSiteNews.com: A woman wrote, “I can’t help but think that if twenty years ago I heard a sermon in my church against abortion, I would have found the strength to keep my baby instead of killing my baby.” Since then, countless women, as well as men, have said the same to Frank Pavone of Priests for Life. He goes on to write about how if nothing is said about abortion from the pulpit, congregants may conclude [paraphrasing to fit our context]:

a) My pastor doesn't know about the pain I have from my abortion;

b) My pastor knows my pain, but doesn't care;

c) My pastor knows and cares about my pain, but there's no hope. Nothing can be done to heal it.

Editor: BFL highly recommends the book Living in His Forgiveness (by Sandy Day) as a resource for post-abortion ministry and healing.

Life after abortion

Post-abortion testimony

"I was stubborn. I knew having sex outside of marriage was wrong and it seemed like an abortion would just make it all go away. Afterwards, I felt the sin of abortion was more than a righteous God would forgive (not that He could not, but just would not). Then I felt like nothing else I did mattered because I had done the worst thing anyone could ever do, and that just kept me spiraling down. I got involved in alcohol, drugs and more unholy relationships. The anniversary of the abortion was especially difficult—usually spent crying and begging the Lord to forgive me, but I never felt relief. I think it's because He required that I tell the secret. (Confess your faults). . . . 

"I became free from the burden of guilt and compelled secrecy of my abortion because the Lord cared enough to chase after me. . . . On April 20, 2005, as I read Luke 13:11-13, 'Woman, thou art loosed!' The Lord Jesus spoke peace to my heart about my abortion after almost 30 years of carrying the grief.  As I read those words, it was as if Jesus spoke them directly to me and, I knew He not only could, but He desired to forgive me of this terrible sin. Like that woman, I could not pick myself up, but He both could and did. I experienced that same inner joy that I had felt so many years before when He saved me." Sherry, Anchor Missionary Baptist Church, Anchorage, Alaska

Church is "a spiritual hospital" for women who've had abortions

Women who have had abortions are in your church. Manhattan Declaration video.

Post-abortive mothers share stories of grief, redemption on Supreme Court steps

Post-abortive mothers share stories of grief, redemption on Supreme Court steps | LifeSiteNews.com: In a bittersweet ending to a joyful March for Life this year, dozens of post-abortive mothers took to the steps of the U.S. Supreme Court Monday afternoon to tell their stories of fear, anguish, and redemption, giving a rare glimpse into the terrible human cost of Roe v. Wade.

Of the 45 who spoke, 40 were newcomers, according to Georgette Forney of Silent No More Awareness, including a group of twelve that had traveled from Arizona to brave the blustery January weather. Over 100 post-abortion sufferers walked together in the March for Life.

Some described in detail the “horrendous” pain of the abortion procedure itself, which was to leave many with health problems and permanent loss of fertility. But even worse was the emotional devastation that followed: feelings of desolation, loneliness, and despair overwhelmed some mothers only moments after losing their child to abortion.

Many women said they suffered for years - 20, 25, 30, or more - with a painful burden of guilt, buried deep inside them. They described the years of drug addiction, dysfunctional relationships, sexual promiscuity, and depression that resulted. Several said that the rejection of their baby also led to the ruin of other relationships - with lovers, parents, and living children.

Join The Church Awareness Project

Abortion is a divisive issue in many churches. Discussions about abortion are often strident and polarizing. Pastors often find preaching on abortion difficult because they fear angering or dividing their congregations, or avoid the issue because they believe it is mostly a political concern. Pro-lifers are often frustrated at the perceived lack of leadership on this issue, and concerned that silence can leave those facing crisis pregnancies more vulnerable to abortion, especially coerced and unwanted abortions.

Women and men who have been involved in a past abortion often feel unable to speak about it, expecting either dismissal or condemnation from others. They may have been hurt by thoughtless remarks that only added to their pain. As a result, many sit in the pews feeling silenced and alone — or end up leaving the church altogether.

It doesn’t have to be this way!

Join The Church Awareness Project. Email BFL for free documents.

Join The Church Awareness Project

Learn how you can raise awareness of unwanted abortions and other abortion-related risks. Turn your church into a place of support, compassion and respect for the dignity of both women and unborn children. Learn how your church can foster healing for women, men and families who have been hurt by abortion.

Sign up to be a part of the Church Awareness Project and receive free educational materials, resources for your church and more. Take part in special upcoming awareness event to mobilize our churches on this issue. Share these materials with your pastor, church and ministry leaders, and others at your place of worship.

Those who sign up by Nov. 10 will receive an advance electronic copy of our new Church Leader's Kit, which is not yet available to the general public. These materials include a free copy of our guide for pastors -- The Jericho Plan: Breaking Down the Walls Which Prevent Post-Abortion Healing -- and additional educational material, along with an explanatory letter.

Editor: Be aware that this material is written from a Catholic perspective; nevertheless, much of the information is good.

Abortion awareness survey

The Elliot Institute, a pro-life research organization, works to raise awareness that most abortions are unwanted or coerced, that abortion harms both women and their unborn children, and that churches need to offer support for all involved. They need your help! In order to make this campaign effective, they are asking for input about how your church is addressing these issues and how you think this campaign can help. Please take a few minutes to complete their survey and give them your feedback. It's only 7 questions. Just CLICK HERE and you'll be taken to the survey.

Pro-Abort Catholic: Women Should Feel 'Guilty' if They Don't Abort Inconvenient Child

Pro-Abort Catholic: Women Should Feel 'Guilty' if They Don't Abort Inconvenient Child: Proponents of feminism within a religious tradition play a crucial role in subverting 'religious fundamentalism' in Catholicism, according to a member of the pro-abortion group Catholics for the Right to Decide.

A Psychiatrist Looks at the Effects of Abortion

Free download from FRC. The growing weight of scientific studies and the voices of women themselves tell the story of abortion as a life-changing, adverse experience for many. Relying on Dr. Martha Shuping's experience as a psychiatrist, we can describe the psychological impact of abortion through the lens of her clinical counseling and the emerging scientific literature.

Governors Declare April as Abortion Recovery/Awareness Month

Governor Rick Perry of Texas and Governor Tim Pawlenty of Minnesota have declared April as Abortion Recovery/Awareness Month. "Ending a pregnancy through abortion interrupts the natural birth process and creates significant trauma and stress for those involved in the pregnancy. An abortion is a tragic ending, not only because of the loss of a life, but also because of the physical and psychological trauma caused by the procedure itself," said Governor Rick Perry of Texas. Christian Newswire

The Impact of Abortion After Prenatal Testing

Couples are not prepared for the negative emotions that frequently ensue. Nor are they usually informed about the help that is available for raising children with special needs. For an informed choice to be truly available pregnant women and their partners need to be told about the possible impact of abortion on them and their other children, and they also need to have information about the care of children with special needs. Elliot Institute

See also: Psychological impact on women after second and third trimester termination of pregnancy due to fetal anomalies

New video: Those People

Abortion Recovery International has produced a 2-minute video called "Those People" focusing attention on how abortion affects women and the people around them.

Highly recommended post-abortion Bible study: Living in His Forgiveness. You can read excerpts on the site before you order.

Get to Know: In Our Midst

Although the evangelical Church has worked diligently over the past three decades to save the lives of the unborn, we have yet to establish ourselves as a safe place for those that have been hurt by abortion to find hope and healing in Jesus Christ. Generally speaking, we have yet to compassionately embrace the men and women - the mothers, fathers, family members, friends, and medical personnel - whose lives have been devastated by abortion.

Sadly, most pastors and ministry leaders are unaware of how abortion affects the lives of those that have survived it and how many of them are filling our pews on Sunday morning, suffering in silence under a shroud of guilt and shame. They see the high divorce rate, the troubled marriages, depression, eating disorders, substance abuse, pornography addiction and other self-destructive behaviors plaguing their congregants, but few have recognized the deeper issue that often lies at the root of these problems: the life-altering wound left in the wake of an unresolved abortion experience.

In Our Midst Ministries is dedicated to bringing this awareness to the Church and equipping her to minister to the needs of those in our midst that carry the wounds created by abortion.

Resources: Newsletter; Secret Sin: When God's People Choose Abortion